Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts

Saturday, 25 September 2010

'Taste on Autism' Film Review

Taste on Autism *****

Taste on Autism is an 8 minute animated short film by Ben Htoo that was created for his individual Major Project for Raffles Design Institute in December 2009. It tells the story of an Autistic boy and a neurotypical girl who first meet as children. The girl immediately takes a liking to the boy but when she tries to get his attention by touching him, unaware that he is Autistic, he responds angrily, prompting her to run off. Many years later, they encounter each other again. He is a customer at a burger restaurant and she is a waitress there. Another incident prompts another angry response. When she learns that he is Autistic, however, she develops a whole new understanding of him and gets him a job working at the restaurant. Still, he seems to be a very sad individual and only when she asks him to go with her to a special learning centre for Autistic people do things change. He learns to cope with his Autism in ways he never could before and a romance begins between the two, him being truly happy for the first time in his life as a result of their relationship, the new found friendships with others around him and a whole new confidence that was missing in his life before. Eventually, he becomes truly independent although the ending is also tinged with sadness.

As an individual with Autism myself I am perhaps not best qualified to provide a truly objective review of Taste on Autism. What I can do, however, is provide an Autistic perspective on the film. While the film occasionally perpetuates the image of Autistic people as being angry and dismissive, it also offers some insight into why this is the case, making clear the fact that certain things that many take for granted, such as unwanted physical contact, can be very upsetting for individuals with Autism and that a negative reaction that many result is not reflective of the individual being angry or unpleasant, rather just a misunderstanding of the rules of social interaction that most take for granted. Ben Htoo seems to have some understanding of Autism as the film is very respectful and honest in the way it portrays its central character and his difficulties. The man is not unpleasant, he is just lonely and all it takes for him to feel happy is acceptance and understanding of who he is and what makes him special. The story is both inspirational and sweet, being the very kind of thing that really could happen and for me it really did inspire feelings of happiness and even a tinge of sadness at the end, and I am sure it will for you too, whether you have Autism yourself or not.
There is an almost magical quality to the film with the music, provided courtesy of Associated Production Music and Walt Disney Records (you may well have heard it before elsewhere), having a very enchanting essence, capturing the mood perfectly and emphasising the emotion that is being portrayed quite effectively through the visuals. The animation is simplistic but quite beautiful and works well with the story that is being told and the decision to portray much of what is going on visually rather than through dialogue – there is no dialogue at all – is an inspired one, with the images being utilized portraying what is going on in a simplistic yet effective way that individuals with Autism should easily understand and relate to, bypassing the awkward aspects of interaction that those with Autism find so hard to understand. This is a particularly good touch. Simply put, Taste on Autism is a perfect representation of Autism. It shows that those of us with Autism are people with feelings and that all we really want is to be accepted by the world that seems so alien to us. A truly magical and enchanting short film, this not only portrays Autism in a positive light but is also a very well made piece of animation and a very enjoyable one to watch, whether you are Autistic yourself or not. At a short running time of only 8 minutes, it won’t take up much of your time to watch and you may just feel a bit more enlightened about Autism for doing so.

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This is a follow up to my previous post which contains the full film of Taste on Autism and can be found here: http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2010/09/short-film-taste-on-autism.html

Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Short Film: 'Taste on Autism'

The original source for this video can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n80_S1Gn7UM

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Taste on Autism is the first of many delightful videos I have found about Autism while scouring the web and that I will be aiming to post on here in the near future. It is an 8 minute short animated film that is basically about a romance between a woman and a man diagnosed with Autism. A truly delightful film.

A full review for this film will follow shortly.

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Saturday, 26 June 2010

'My Name Is Khan' Movie Review

The following is a review I have written for the movie My Name Is Khan. It was released in cinemas in February.

My Name Is Khan ****½

With Asperger’s Syndrome becoming far more widely recognized by the people of the world, more films featuring characters with the condition are starting to appear. Last year saw the fantastic American indie film Adam tackle the issue of Asperger’s and relationships. Now we have something very different in the form of My Name Is Khan. Coming out of the Bollywood filmmaking stable - even though it is not a Bollywood film in the traditional sense, this not being a musical in any way and actually being something of an international production, with dialogue being in Hindi, Urdu and English and, due to the multinational nature of the story, featuring American actors as well as Indian ones - My Name Is Khan focuses more on some of the negative preconceptions that can arise due to a lack of understanding of Asperger’s and how those with it are affected by the condition as well as dealing with the issue of changing racial perceptions in the aftermath of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. My Name Is Khan is literally the first Bollywood movie I have ever seen so my knowledge of the background of this huge area of filmmaking is limited but, based on the evidence of this film, it is not hard to see the appeal.

Rizwan Khan (Shahrukh Khan) is a Muslim from the Borivali section of Mumbai who suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, a form of high-functioning Autism that complicates socialization, prevents him from fully understanding the world around him and causes him to display behaviours that many would consider to be odd. After the death of his mother, he moves to San Francisco to work for his brother there and it is here that he meets Mandira (Kajol), a Hindu single mother with whom he develops a bond and eventually marries. Things go well in Rizwan’s life for some time as he, Mandira and her son Sameer (Yvaan Makaar) live the dream but after the tragic events of 9/11 everything changes. With racial hatred towards Muslims growing, tragedy strikes their family and Mandira, blaming Rizwan for what has happened forces him away. Misinterpreting her sarcastic suggestion for him to meet the US President to say “My name is Khan, and I am not a terrorist” as a genuine request, Rizwan sets out on an epic journey to do just that, following the President as he goes on tour around the country. Along the way, he gets detained by authorities who mistake his disability for suspicious behaviour, helps apprehend some genuine terrorists, forms new friendships, shows what true heroism is and inspires the entire nation – all so that he can win back the love of Mandira.

At the start of My Name Is Khan, a disclaimer reads “The protagonist in this film suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of Autism. While the film endeavours to depict the character as authentically and sensitively as possible, it is a work of fiction and hence certain creative liberties have been taken in the portrayal of the condition.” While it doesn’t reflect on the quality of the performance by Shahrukh Khan, this disclaimer is apt as the performance is certainly not one of the more restrained portrayals of a character with Asperger’s Syndrome, in fact being quite an over the top one. While “certain creative liberties” may have been taken, however, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the performance doesn’t ring true to life. While the portrayal isn’t the most restrained and perhaps doesn’t reflect the majority of people with Asperger’s, as someone with the condition myself, I can say that there almost certainly are people out there just like Rizwan. And it is the depiction of Rizwan that truly makes the film work. Shahrukh Khan is superb in the central role (as is Tanay Chheda who portrays the young Rizwan), perfectly displaying the mannerisms and eccentricities of an individual with Asperger’s. He perfectly captures all the different facets that can be found in people with Asperger’s in real life, from the difficulty in maintaining eye contact to the discomfort with physical contact, and the way he takes everything literally at face value to the manner in which certain sights and sounds trigger anxiety attacks. All of this rings true and all of it I, and probably many other with the condition, can personally relate to. The strong central performance, along with well written dialogue and a strong plot, ensures that we do truly believe in the character, his life and his journey, everything he says and does seeming completely plausible – the way he freaks out over things that most people take for granted; the way he interprets everything literally, such as Mandira’s suggestion that he meet the President; his inability to understand basic social cues; the way his behaviour gets misconstrued and the way he fails to comprehend why he is treated in a certain way. The relationship between Rizwan and Mandira also convinces, thanks to a terrific chemistry of sorts between a perfectly paired Khan and co-star Kajol (who delivers a very strong performance in her own right). The nature of Rizwan having Asperger’s means that he is unable to express his emotions openly (something which is represented in the film through him writing his feelings down in a diary, which we hear as voiceover narration) but even without us seeing the emotion on screen, there is still a certain spark between Khan and Kajol when their eyes first meet that makes us truly believe in them as a couple. Even though the relationship seems to progress very quickly, it never fails to seem organic and we really can buy that they are falling in love with one another. This delightful love story at the heart of the film is the driving force for the entire plot and for a good while, the film is happy and cheerful, reflecting the joy of Rizwan and Mandira’s life together, the film tending towards the comic during this period, with a sweet and quirky sense of humour akin to what you would expect from the better films that the romantic comedy genre have to offer. When the events of 9/11 come into the film, however, things take on a much different, darker tone, the comic being replaced by the tragic and in a way that seems completely natural. Suddenly, an easy to watch film becomes much harder going (although still worth sitting through). You see, this film isn’t just about Asperger’s Syndrome, it is also about the changing attitudes towards Muslims following the tragic events of 9/11. With Rizwan, the fact that he is a Muslim is every bit as important to the plot as the fact that he has Asperger’s Syndrome. Without either one there would be not film but together they set the stage for his epic journey. In this regard the film also succeeds, painting an all too realistic picture of the racial hatred that erupted in America post 9/11, even if it doesn’t have much to say that hasn’t been said before and, ultimately, it is the Asperger’s aspect that prevails in the end. If the film falls short of being perfect, it is because the long running time (2 hours 34 minutes) combined with the hard subject matter that arises post 9/11 make for a film that is occasionally hard to watch and the climax of the film tends towards the saccharine, abandoning the realism that has been the order of the day up to that point in favour of an unbelievably happy ending where the best of humanity prevails and love conquers all. This isn’t to say that it is a bad way to go out as it ensures the film ends on a high note, just that given some of the harder stuff that has come before it is somewhat difficult to really buy into it. Additionally, the manner in which the film shifts between languages, with a character one moment speaking English and the next speaking Hindi or Urdu (those unfamiliar will have difficulty discerning which is which) often proves confusing, especially when a character is speaking in these languages to people who shouldn’t be able to understand them yet clearly do. So, My Name Is Khan falls somewhat short of being a masterpiece but nonetheless proves to be a very compelling and very well made film that is inspirational, moving, heartwarming and epic. A very powerful movie going experience indeed.


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My Name Is Khan is available to buy on DVD on Monday 28th June 2010.

Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Thursday, 18 March 2010

Autistic couple in Az subject of film

Autistic couple in Az subject of film




Article from Arizona Daily Sun



By BETSEY BRUNER.

Jerry Newport and Mary Meinel just published Mozart and the Whale: an Asperger's Love Story, a memoir of their life together. They both have Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism.

FLAGSTAFF - Jerry Newport and Mary Meinel joined their two families of birds when they married on Jerry's birthday in 1994.

"The birds got along very well," Jerry said. "They all have double-digit ages."

Besides their 13 birds - five cockatiels, six parakeets, one dove and a cockatoo - the two share a condition, Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism that affects millions of Americans.

Asperger's and other forms of autism are complex developmental disabilities that make social interaction and communication difficult. Maintaining personal relationships can also be daunting, and isolation often sets in.

After their first marriage, a separation in 1997, a divorce in 1999 and a remarriage on Valentine's Day 2002, the couple is still together, refusing to give up in the face of many challenges.

"Mary wasn't sure what kind of future we had, but she was sure we were better off together in some way than we were separate, and she's right," Jerry said.

Today, the Newports live in Flagstaff and have added Wolfie to the family unit, a fluffy-white poodle mix they got at a local animal shelter.

Their story was the inspiration for the 2005 movie, Mozart and the Whale.
Starring Josh Hartnett as Donald (Jerry) and Radha Mitchell as Isabelle (Mary), the movie had a short run in Spokane, Wash., where it was filmed, and was released in DVD at the end of 2006.

"Donald is a very good interpretation of me when I was a young person," said Jerry, who grew up in Long Island. "I was a young person who was obsessed with fitting into society and never quite could."

The movie's title comes from the costumes they wore to celebrate Halloween - Willy the Whale for Jerry, and Mozart's sister, Maria Anna Mozart, for Mary.

Reversing the usual cycle of movie based on book, the Newports have just published a memoir, Mozart and the Whale: An Asperger's Love Story.

The book was co-written by People magazine writer Johnny Dodd and is moving up fast in book rankings based on sales, Jerry said.

People with Asperger's syndrome can be high functioning if a bit eccentric.

"A lot of people would say to us, 'You're just a little off,' " said Jerry, 58, who started an autism support group in Long Beach, Calif., where the couple met in 1993.

Asperger's syndrome was named in honor of Hans Asperger (1906-1980), an Austrian psychiatrist and pediatrician, who described his young patients as "little professors."

The Newports are savants who can perform remarkable feats in specialized intellectual areas, Jerry at math and Mary at music.

With unique personalities, the Newports have become celebrities in the world of autism, featured twice on 60 Minutes.

Because they often have a foot in two worlds, the conventional and the autistic, people with Asperger's are of special interest to people studying autism.

"It's a different culture," said Susan Marks, a special education professor at Northern Arizona University. "Adults with Asperger's are able to provide us a window as to what a child who has autism is experiencing, but is unable to speak. They can tell us what the sensory experience is."

With a degree in math from the University of Michigan, Jerry is a whiz at the subject.

During an interview, he took less than a minute to calculate he was 21,333 days old.

"I started off as a 7-year-old, discovered for being able to do things like square roots in my head, with as many decimals as people wanted," he said.

Because of their difficulties communicating socially, people with Asperger's may not be able to earn a living in their areas of interest.

Jerry works part time for Friendly Cab in town, where he said he is treated well and is becoming a good driver.

Mary, 52, who was born in Tucson, worked in Hollywood as an actress and doesn't consider her form of autism a disability.

"I always considered it a plus," Mary said. "That's where the savant comes from."

Inspired by Russian composers, she bought a synthesizer to compose Neoclassical music.
Another passion is sewing. Mary said she wants to fashion an updated version of her Mozart costume from some new red brocade fabric.

"I'm just bound and determined to cash in on life, to live it to the fullest," she said. "You should have a lot of dreams and see how many of them you can fulfill. You should do what you'd rather be doing."

Copyright © 2010 TucsonCitizen.com

The original source for this article can be found here:

http://www.tucsoncitizen.com/daily/local/39363.php

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This is another article that I have found about Jerry and Mary Newport.

I have posted other articles about the couple previously which can be read here:

http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2009/11/star-trek-spot-aspie.html

http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2009/11/when-jerry-met-mary.html

http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2009/11/mozart-and-whale-interview-with-jerry.html

http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2009/10/against-odds-love-story.html

Additionally, content about the movie 'Mozart and the Whale' which is based on their lives can be found here:

http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2009/11/mozart-and-whale-movie-trailer.html

http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2009/11/mozart-and-whale-movie-stills.html

http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2009/11/mozart-and-whale-movie-poster.html

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Love can prevail

Love can prevail

Asperger Syndrome need not nix romantic opportunities

Article from Longmont Times-Call - November 17, 2009
By PAM MELLSKOG

Eugenia Brady and her boyfriend Miles have been together for about two years since they met at a social event for people who are affected with autism. Eugenia was attending a meeting for parents with children of Autism and Miles was participating in a monthly function for adults with Aspergers.





LAFAYETTE — Every now and then, as they make dinner together in her small kitchen, Eugenia Brady will stop chopping vegetables and interrupt their conversation to kiss her boyfriend passionately.

“But when I come up for air, I just want to finish my story,” said Miles, a man diagnosed as a child with Asperger Syndrome, who preferred not to share his last name.

Though the highest-functioning members of all those diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder,
people will Asperger Syndrome still often miss opportunities to enjoy healthy dating and marriage relationships given the way the disorder hobbles communication.
“If someone is angry, I know what it means if they give me the bird or shake their fist. And I know if someone is happy and cheering, like at a Broncos game. It’s the subtle communication in a marriage that I struggled to see. … Relating to someone romantically is like dealing with another culture,” said Xenia Grant, 44, an AS-diagnosed widow and Autism Society of Colorado support group organizer in Denver.

Brady and Miles attribute some of their more maddening moments of misunderstanding and conflict to as much.

“Other times, it’s just a guy thing, a Mars/Venus thing,” Miles said, referring to the popular book by John Grey, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.”

However, psychologist and marriage counselor Kathy J. Marshack recently tailored a book to address communication issues in this subculture titled, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship” (Austism Asperger Publishing Company 2009).

“Most adults with Asperger Syndrome are undiagnosed. So, someone’s smart, financially successful husband could have AS … and can pass for normal, except at home,” the Vancouver, Wash., resident said.

To cope, the affected partner tends to isolate or dominate in the relationship, which worsens the situation, she said.

Others living with the syndrome never get a chance at romance because they miss the cues that
lead to a deeper relationship.

“I should have worn a button that said, ‘I’m hard of hearing and nearsighted. Please flirt aggressively,’” Miles, 47, said.

Still, he and Brady clicked after meeting in December 2007 at an Autism Society of Colorado potluck. Brady, also 47, attended the event after participating in a class to learn more about the then-recent AS diagnosis of her third child, Benjamin, now 6.

She needed to make the first move, though — something she did in April 2008 by inviting Miles to dinner.

Brady worried about all sorts of things before he arrived. Would the flickering of the fluorescent lights in her kitchen or the high-pitched sounds from the TV agitate him?

“And I needed to remember to ask him for a hug when he left instead of just giving him a hug,” she said, referring to the touch sensitivity some people with AS report.

Since then, the couple has learned ways to work around that issue and others.

For instance, the Costa Rican native often smiles and touches people when she talks.

“That is how I speak, too,” she said.

But Miles initially complained that tickled him.

“The thing is, sometimes it tickles and sometimes it doesn’t,” he said.

Now, when Miles shies from her conversational taps, she sometimes tickles him in earnest. And part of her playful response to his diagnosis-related hang-ups has healed him, Miles said.

Now, often he takes her hand to show her he is focused on listening — even though staying focused enough to listen well challenges the couple, too.

At his tech support job with a local wireless company, Miles listens all day to callers explaining glitches in service. He manages handily to analyze the problem and solve it.

Part of his expertise lies in his extraordinary attention to detail. At a previous job fulfilling orders for printer driver software, he memorized part prices along with the tax and shipping rates to almost every state.

Still, conversation with a sweetheart takes different turns than conversation with a customer.

Brady notices that Miles may say four unrelated things without batting an eye.

“(His conversation) can be disconnected. But now I know to tell him, ‘Miles, I don’t get the connection. You have to explain it to me,’” she said.

Other times, instead of feeling hurt by his silence when she tells him about a tough day, she prods him to respond.

“I just think differently,” Miles said. “I remember reading Dr. Seuss’ ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ story with my sister when I was a kid. She said, ‘Do you know what this means?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, even if food doesn’t look right, you should eat it.’ She has never thought about that story like that.”

But for Brady, this aspect makes working through their communication issues worth it.

“Our differences can be the color of our hair, our eyes, our skin or the way our brain is wired and the way we process information and respond to situations,” she said.
Brady appreciates his fresh takes and, to avoid the unhealthy dominating dynamic highlighted by author Marshack, she gives Miles lots of room to guide her in practical matters as much as she guides him through abstractions.

This fall, for instance, he taught her with plenty of patience how to drive a manual transmission vehicle.

The give-and-take aspect of their relationship along with their shared sense of humor helps them see progress in each other — even when it needs to be spelled out.

“I love that wink she gives me,” Miles said. “I now know it means that she finds me attractive.”

The original source for this article can be found here:

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Here is another true love story involving a man with Asperger's Syndrome, the big difference to other stories I have posted recently being that in this case the woman does not have the condition as well.

Stories like this show that individuals with Asperger's can indeed find love and that it doesn't necessarily have to be with someone who has the condition (although in some cases it obviously does play a part). This is certainly a story that can provide hope to men with Asperger's Syndrome as, given the small percentage of girls with the condition, there are far more males than females with it and, besides, a girl having Asperger's Syndrome alone isn't enough to base a relationship on.

What we need is simply someone who can accept us as we are. If we can meet someone who can truly understand our difficulties, perhaps through personal experience, i.e. someone who has the condition themself, then great, but ultimately we just need someone who will accept us and love us as we are and stories like this one show that this is most definitely possible, even with a neurotypical partner (after all, you can't define a person with Asperger's by a label, so the same should definitely apply for Neurotypical individuals as well).

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Monday, 8 March 2010

Vancouver couple show autism, romance can coexist

Vancouver couple show autism, romance can coexist

Article from The Seattle Times - February 24, 2008

By ERIN MIDDLEWOOD, The Columbian


Emilia Murry Ramey and Jody John Ramey have co-written a book entitled Autistics' Guide to Dating. In the book, the married couple reflect on their personal experiences and give advice on relationships.



VANCOUVER, Wash. — Emilia Murry Ramey and Jody John Ramey met through a mutual friend. They soon discovered they had more in common than their friend. Both were students at Portland State University. And both have autism.

The Vancouver couple are among the estimated 1.5 million Americans living with the effects of some degree of autism.

Specifically, Emilia and Jody both have Asperger syndrome, marked by social awkwardness and a lack of understanding of conventional social rules.

As if dating weren't hard enough.

"I hadn't had any dating experience before meeting her," said Jody, 35.

"I used to say I had more jobs than dates," joked Emilia, 33.

Not only did Jody and Emilia figure out dating, they laid out tips for others in a book, Autistics' Guide to Dating: A Book by Autistics, for Autistics and Those Who Love Them or Who Are in Love with Them.

The book is available for $19.95 on the London-based Jessica Kingsley Publishers Web site jkp.com.

"A lot of literature on autistics comes from the medical community that shows autistics as broken and in need of fixing," Jody said. "We don't talk about autism as a deficit at all. We talk about how to sell the positive traits of autism in a romance."

The couple, who married in 2006, didn't set out to write a book. Soon after they started dating, Jody, who has made presentations at autism conferences around the world, suggested they make a proposal to the Autscape conference in London for a session on dating.

"Since we'd only been dating for two weeks, she thought I was nuts," Jody said. But Emilia was willing.

The couple's presentation was a success, and they went on to offer similar sessions.

"We decided the book was the next step," Jody said. "A large percentage of our book is just good, solid relationship principles."

The book stresses communication.

"People on the autism spectrum aren't good at reading subtle social cues," Emilia said. So couples have to specifically voice their feelings and concerns. Even then, she said, things can get tricky.

Emilia said she learned that if something Jody said offended her, she should ask what he meant before getting upset.

The book also addresses touch, which makes many autistics uncomfortable.

"I'm a bit touch-defensive," Jody said. "It isn't that I don't like to be touched. It's that there are specific ways I like to be touched. The book helps couples find those ways no matter what their verbal ability."

Autistic people often have very narrow interests, which can be a barrier to connecting with others. The book helps them navigate beyond a laser-point focus.

"If you love Star Trek, go to a Star Trek convention," Jody said. "Don't talk about Star Trek at your grandmother's funeral."

The book also seeks to help autistics overcome stereotypes.

"One of the problems that holds people back is a negative view of autistics," Emilia said. "People think of Rain Man or someone banging their head against the wall.

Autistics can have successful relationships."

Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company

The original source for this article can be found here:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004197834_autisticcouple24.html

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Here is another true story that shows that people with Autism or Aspergers Syndrome can be successful in love.

Just like with Lindsey Nebeker and Dave Hamrick, Emilia and Jody Ramey are passing on things that they have learnt in their relationship onto others and some of the things they have to say are very useful for anyone Autie or Aspie inviduals who are looking for love.

I for one will certainly take the advice that they have given if and when I meet someone I like and enter the world of dating. And I think others should too.

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Monday, 22 February 2010

Video: 'Learning to Love'

The original source for this video can be found here:

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=6955074

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Following up my previous post about Lindsey Nebeker and Dave Hamrick, here is a lovely news piece that was done about them on ABC News shortly after the story was published in Glamour magazine.

Enjoy.

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Sunday, 21 February 2010

They’re Autistic—and They’re in Love

They’re Autistic—and They’re in Love

Article from Glamour - February 2, 2009

By LYNN HARRIS

There are two bedrooms in the cozy Jackson, Mississippi, apartment: Dave Hamrick’s is like a dad’s den, with a striped beige armchair and a hanging map; Lindsey Nebeker’s is darkly girly, with spiky dried roses hung over a bed topped by a graphic leaf-print quilt. After work on any given evening, Dave and Lindsey are likely to be orbiting the home separately, doing their own thing. Dave may be flipping through magazines, pausing to stare fixedly at design details or leaning in to inhale the scent of the pages. Lindsey typically sits down to eat alone—from a particular plate with a particular napkin placed just so—and may slip so deeply into her own world that Dave has learned to whisper “Psst…” when he approaches so as to not startle her and, on a bad night, make her scream.

An observer might assume the two are amicable, if oddball, roommates. But Lindsey, 27, and Dave, 29, are deeply in love. And they are autistic. Every day of their relationship, these two beat tremendous odds. That’s because the very definition of autism suggests that for adults with this disorder, love—especially the lasting, live-in kind like Lindsey and Dave’s—is not in the cards at all.

About 1.5 million people in the United States (an estimated one fifth of them are female) have autism, with varying degrees of severity. The disorder can create sensory issues, like hypersensitivity to touch and sound, and impair social skills. While some autistics are gifted (often in music or math), they may be utterly baffled by the nuances of small talk and eye contact. Expressing empathy can be virtually impossible. Imagine a first date—never a breeze for any of us—with those limitations.

“I hear a lot of loneliness, sadness and fear among the autistic adults I meet,” says Stephen Shore, author of Beyond the Wall and an internationally recognized expert on autism who has the disorder himself. “Without a natural understanding of communication, it’s much more difficult for people with autism to find and sustain an intimate relationship.” They have hearts that feel; it’s the funky wiring in their brains that makes things so challenging.

Contrary to stereotype—the Rain Man-esque loner who’d rather count toothpicks than make friends—adult autistics often know what they’re missing out on and hope to find love, like anyone else. Since hanging in a crowded bar or going on a blind date can be terrifying, many connect through social-networking websites. Still, successful relationships aren’t very common, especially relationships in which both partners have autism.

Lindsey and Dave have experienced their fair share of heartache: at school, among so-called friends, in their search for partners. Yet both have also summoned the courage to take a risk, perhaps the biggest risk of their lives, for each other. Theirs is a still-unfolding tale—an unconventional story about unconditional love.

Autism has been making headlines lately, especially now that more and more children are being diagnosed with it. Celeb mom Jenny McCarthy, for one, speaks and writes about her son’s autism. The head writer for Days of Our Lives developed a story line about an autistic child based on her parental experience. Last fall, autism-awareness advocates raised hell over the “Autism Shmautism” chapter in comic Denis Leary’s latest book. Observations included “Yer kid is not autistic. He’s just stupid. Or lazy. Or both.”

The attention, good and bad, has made it somewhat easier for adult autistics to find acceptance in the world. Former America’s Next Top Model contestant Heather Kuzmich—who has Asperger’s syndrome (considered an autism spectrum disorder) and who had trouble making eye contact in TV interviews—has become a role model. Claire Danes is starring in a forthcoming HBO biopic about best-selling autistic author Temple Grandin. Also helpful are sites like wrongplanet.net, geared toward autistic adults, where users can find answers to questions such as “How do I learn to flirt?”

Lindsey, an auburn-haired beauty with an artistic, bejeweled style you might call peasant-goth, has been more fortunate than others (including her severely autistic younger brother). When she was 19 months old and not talking, her parents tested her for autism, and she got the benefit of early treatment. Today, her occasional wandering gaze and the forced cheer in her voice make her seem just a bit off. It takes effort, she says, not to sound “robotic.”

Even as Lindsey’s speech caught up and her talent for playing piano emerged, she developed habits typical of autistics: staring for hours at the fibers of a carpet, for example, or performing soothing rituals like stepping on cracks in the sidewalk. Classmates teased her mercilessly, and she’d come home with kick me signs on her back. Real friendship seemed painfully out of reach for the eccentric, awkward girl who came across as blunt. In high school, when another student asked Lindsey what she thought of her new makeup, Lindsey recalls, “I told her it looked fake. She became silent, and I knew I had blown it.”

Depressed, Lindsey burned herself with a curling iron and cut her arms with safety pins, hiding her injuries with sweatshirts. “Lindsey’s struggles were heartbreaking,” says her mother, Anne Nebeker, 63, a retired teacher in Logan, Utah. “I was very anxious about how she would manage as an adult and whether she would have a social life at all or find love.”

Yet Lindsey’s torment fueled a determination to learn the very skills that eluded her. Her best resource: Dale Carnegie’s self-help classic How to Win Friends and Influence People. Advice as simple as “Be a good listener” began to help, especially by college. The subtleties of romance, however, remained a mystery. She’d fool around with a guy and get dumped a few days or weeks later without explanation. “I had no idea what I was doing that was scaring guys away,” says Lindsey. “I felt like I had failed somehow.” In her early twenties, she gave up. “I decided to focus on the friendships I’d managed to make,” she continues, “and quit worrying about love altogether.”

That’s when she met Dave. It was 2005, and they were at an autism conference in Nashville. Diagnosed at three, Dave grew up with pronounced fixations. He’d tote around empty Clorox bottles, and carry a thermometer to assess the air temperature. Like Lindsey, he had trouble making friends. Dave also has Tourette’s syndrome, which can overlap with autism; it’s the cause of his near-constant head jerks and occasional stuttering and grunting noises. His parents were told he would always be in special education, never able to work or live on his own. By fourth grade, he was in a mainstream class; he went on to college, where he majored in meteorology.

When he and Lindsey met, Dave says, “I was hopeful, but realistic.” They e-mailed and talked on the phone, then hung out again a few months later at a conference in Virginia. On their last night there, at a cafĂ©, Dave took the plunge. Seeing Lindsey’s hands resting on the table, Dave reached for them. “When she didn’t pull away, I knew I had a positive result,” he says in his endearingly geeky, textbookish way. The next day, he gave her a bouquet. “I’d never gotten flowers from anyone, other than my dad after a piano recital,” says Lindsey. Looking Dave in the eye was hard for her. So, she says, “it was a relief to close my eyes and lean in to kiss him. I had my guard up, but some part of me was willing to give it a try.”

Two years later, Lindsey and Dave moved in together. It’s a big step for any couple, but for autistics, it can mean merging two rigid ways of life. Dave likes it cool; Lindsey likes it warm. Dave needs his mattress firm; Lindsey needs hers soft. These may sound like trifles, but what’s merely irritating to others may be, for an autistic, 20 fingernails on 20 blackboards. They’ve discussed every last detail, down to lightbulb preference.

When Dave awakes for work, Lindsey—a night owl—may still be up from the evening before. By noon, she’s improvised a few riffs on her beloved Steinway and is performing the 20-minute ritual of preparing her three thermoses of coffee (touch of flavored syrup, drop of almond milk, heat, adjust, repeat), which she will take with her to her job…at Starbucks.

Being a barista isn’t her Plan A. She dreams of studying photography or special ed in grad school. Dave has turned his fixation on temperature into a meteorology career (his e-mail name is “weatheringautism”). An entry-level forecaster at the National Weather Service, he finds his job exciting. It requires only limited face-to-face contact with strangers; on a typical day, he gives callers weather reports or heads out, alone, to release a weather balloon.

Both often come home exhausted, like actors who’ve been on stage all day. That’s one reason Lindsey and Dave need so much time alone after work, and why they rarely call each other to check in and chat. “Every day, we put out so much effort to speak properly in the workplace and other social settings,” says Lindsey. “When we talk on the telephone, our conversations normally don’t last long because we get uneasy when the small-talk script runs out.”

On weekends, they’re more likely to prowl a bookstore than go to a party or a restaurant. Their friends—mostly from college and conferences, some of whom are autistic—don’t live nearby. They also prefer to eat by themselves. Dave, as if he had superhero hearing, is sensitive to the sound of chewing. He can eat only cooked vegetables—never raw, crunchy ones. Lindsey finds it so torturous to deviate from her food rituals that Dave’s occasional invitation to dine out can send her into sobs. “I just keep telling him, ‘I’m so sorry, I can’t,’” she says. “I feel awful about it.”

Once in a while, with enough notice, Lindsey says yes and they’ll head to a bright and bustling pan-Asian buffet; it’s the opposite of romantic. Dave, lit up like a kid on Christmas Day, will happily put away several crabs’ worth of crab legs. Lindsey, wary of food she didn’t prepare herself, would rather prod stiffly at her wasabi than moon over Dave. But what other diners can’t see is something even more tender than canoodling: Lindsey and Dave’s willingness to step outside their comfort zones to please each other.

Adjusting to sex took time. Lindsey was somewhat nervous about the fact that she was a virgin and Dave was not. “Spontaneity was not an option,” she says. “People with autism really have to mentally prepare for everything.” She felt bogged down by the procedures she’d established in her head from seeing romantic movies like Pretty Woman—“OK, now I’m supposed to take off his shirt.” Three years into their relationship, though, they readily visit each other’s beds.

Marriage, they say, is a possibility; children, they’re less sure about. Both worry about a genetic predisposition to autism, a valid concern, especially given that both Lindsey and her brother have the disorder. Even if they adopt, parenting seems perilous. “Dealing with our rituals and sensory issues demands so much from us,” says Lindsey, “that I don’t know how we’d take care of someone else.”

Lindsey still gets depressed when people misunderstand her. “Sometimes, after a bad experience, I shut myself off from the rest of the world,” she says. “I don’t have to face judgment in my room.” Recently, as a man at work was talking, she tuned out but kept nodding and smiling (a frequent habit). Suddenly he blurted, “Did you hear what I said? I got mugged last night.” Lindsey was crushed. “It’s exhausting,” she says, “to be 27 and still have to work at getting interactions with people right.”

These are the times when she needs Dave most. “He reminds me that tomorrow is another day,” she says. “He makes me feel like I’m worth something.” Dave loves to stand behind her, wrap his arms around her waist, press his nose into her hair and take long, deep breaths. Last Valentine’s Day, he festooned their bathroom mirror with plastic gel hearts (he’s been obsessed with the shape since he was a kid). They’re still there today.

Though connecting with others will be a lifelong struggle, Lindsey and Dave have formed a bond that defies their autism. They may sometimes come across as blunt to strangers, but speaking their own minds clearly and directly—just as they did when they moved in together—has helped their relationship. There’s none of the “if you have to even ask what’s wrong, then forget it” passive-aggressiveness many couples experience, no expectation of mind reading. “People like Lindsey and Dave put so much thought and dedication into making their relationship work,” says Diane Twachtman-Cullen, Ph.D., a speech-language expert who specializes in autism and knows the couple well. “Frankly, we could all take a page from their playbook.”

Lindsey’s mom is similarly awed. Anne Nebeker recalls that when Lindsey and Dave came to visit her for the first time, “we went to a local lake. The two of them were running around and splashing water at each other, and I was so pleasantly surprised to see them doing a normal-couple thing like that. Even when Lindsey calls him ‘Hon’ and it sounds natural, not forced and rehearsed, I am amazed. I am so happy to see her in love.”

These days, when Dave whispers as he approaches Lindsey, she’ll whisper back; it’s become a term of endearment. “Psst…,” he’ll say after he walks in the door and sees Lindsey in the living room. Her face lights up when their eyes meet. “Psst!” she’ll respond, smiling. She knows that with Dave, she’s in a safe place. “I’m so lucky to have found him,” she says. “When I’m with him, I forget about my challenges.”

The original article can be found here:
http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2009/02/theyre-autistic-and-theyre-in-love

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As with the story of Jerry and Mary Newport, I find myself unable to fully relate to the experiences of Lindsey Nebeker and Dave Hamrick, one because the condition I have - Aspergers Syndrome - is somewhat milder than full on Autism, and two because I yet to even date a girl let alone have a relationship. Although, thinking about it, the latter does sort of allow me to relate as just like they became frustrated in their search for love and even began to think that they might never meet anyone, I too often feel much the same way, having been looking for someone for a while with absolutely no success. This ability to relate to that aspect of Lindsey and Dave's lives actually makes their story all the more inspiring because if they can find love why can't I?

There is much more to Lindsey and Dave's story than just two people with Autism finding love though, as not only have they found it, they have also found a way to maintain it. Their tends to be certain conventions about relationships and how they should be conducted - couples should sleep in the same bed in the same room for instance - and these things are generally conducted almost to the letter by neurotypical couples. The pressure to conform to such rules is probably a key reason why relationships between individuals with Autism can often struggle, perhaps even fail, but Lindsey and Dave have taken the route of not conforming to such rules, making their relationship work for them.

They certainly seem to have found a way to make a relationship work around their personal situation and I can't help but feel that if I ever do find myself in a relationship I may be able to take a few pointers from Lindsey and Dave. The idea of sharing a bed for example - now, this isn't to sound selfish or anything but when I am sleeping I need my personal space, it is just something I probably wouldn't be able to change. So, the concept of having a separate bed, a separate room in fact, to my partner would actually be quite desirable. Particularly if I found myself with a partner who is also Autistic, each having our own space could be very beneficial to the relationship as a whole. This is also true of my personal hobbies and interests - while I would love to meet someone who shares the exact same passions as me, the chances of that happening aren't wholly promising given my eclectic range of interests, and for a relatoonship to really work I would need my own space. I'm not saying that I wouldn't make some sacrifices to make a relationship work but there are some things I could never change about myself and someone who truly loved me wouldn't expect me to just as I wouldn't expect someone I truly loved to give up everything for me. Lindsey and Dave have shown the way for people with Autism, Aspergers or other ASDs to enjoy a healthy, loving relationship free of the pressures that neurotypical ideas about relationships place on people like us. This is something truly inspiring.

The way that Lindsey and Dave manage to come out of their comfort zones for each other is also inspiring, showing that they truly are in love and are prepared to make sacrifices for one another. I just hope that if and when I meet the right girl that I am able to show my love in the same way that Dave shows for Lindsey and vice versa. Theirs is a truly sweet and romantic story, one that puts any of the tired and predictable nonsense from Hollywood movies to shame and the fact that it is 100% real, not fiction, only makes the story all the inspirational.

Lindsey and Dave have achieved something that many people with Autism Spectrum Disorders, me included, aspire to but many are unable to achieve - they have formed a connection with someone they truly love and are actually keeping the relationship alive. Anyone on the Autism Spectrum cannot fail to be inspired by this. Lindsey and Dave have shown us that love, even the lasting kind, is possible for people like us. Their story is only only a delightful one but that should give hope to lonely people with Autism all over the world.

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

'Adam' DVD Cover Art

Here is the cover art for the region 2 release of Adam on DVD on Monday 15th February.

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Saturday, 6 February 2010

'Adam' Movie Review

The following is a review I wrote for Adam when it was released in cinemas last August:

Adam *****

Over the years there have been numerous films that tackled the condition of Autism with such high profile actors as Dustin Hoffman (Rain Man) and Sigourney Weaver (Snow Cake) both having played Autistic characters. However, aside from the little seen Mozart and the Whale starring Josh Hartnett and Radha Mitchell, another form of the condition known as Aspergers Syndrome has been all but ignored by the filmmaking community, until now that is. Adam is a romantic comedy starring British actor Hugh Dancy as a man with Aspergers who develops a romantic relationship with a cosmopolitan New York girl. Already a critical success and winner of the Alfred P. Sloan Award at the Sundance Film Festival, Adam will hopefully pave the way for future films involving characters with Aspergers, something that I, as a person who has the condition, greatly look forward to. Future films aside, however, the question is how does Adam fare? Is it a well made and entertaining film and perhaps more importantly does it accurately portray a condition which is quite common yet so many people know hardly anything about?

Romance can be risky, perplexing and filled with the perils of miscommunication - and that's if you aren't Adam, for whom life itself is this way. Adam (Hugh Dancy) is a handsome but intriguing young man with Aspergers Syndrome who has all his life led a sheltered existence - until he meets his new neighbor, Beth (Rose Byrne), a beautiful, cosmopolitan young woman who pulls him into the outside world, with funny, touching and entirely unexpected results. Their implausible and enigmatic relationship reveals just how far two people from different realities can stretch in search of an extraordinary connection.

Following a recent slew of mediocre Hollywood romantic comedies - The Proposal and The Ugly Truth you have been named and shamed - it is refreshing to see Adam, a film that could teach Hollywood filmmakers a few things about how romcoms should be done. Writer/director Max Mayer succeeds on two fronts with this film. Firstly, he has created a romantic comedy that is full of charm and warmth but that is based on a real world relationship with all the problems that entails as opposed to a fairytale happily ever after romance, and is free of many of the clichĂ©s and conventions that permeate mainstream romcoms. The film’s ending is far from a fairytale, being quite bittersweet in fact, but nonetheless the film will still leave you with a smile on your face because it is so sweet and touching that it really is hard not to love it. While not laugh out loud funny the film also has a good sense of humour, clean, honest, sincere and quirky, coming from heartfelt character moments rather than cheap, irrelevant gags. The second area in which Mayer greatly succeeds is in the manner in which Aspergers Syndrome is portrayed. He clearly knows his stuff and it really shows in the film, both in the script and in the production design. The film accurately portrays the condition and explanations for what is and how it affects those who have it are done using accurate terminology and presented in a manner that is simple without coming across as patronizing to moviegoers. Simple things in the production design such as the way Adam’s cupboards are arranged also accurately illustrate key factors of Aspergers and such little details really make a big impact. Certainly this film will educate viewers as well as entertain. The accurate portrayal of the condition isn’t entirely down to Mayer, however, with the performance of Hugh Dancy being pivotal. Dancy completely convinces as Adam, accurately portraying all the mannerisms associated with Aspergers and conveying all the difficulties and misunderstandings that come with it brilliantly. As a person with Aspergers I can honestly say that his performance rings true to life. Another great performance is given by Rose Byrne who is delightful as Beth and who convincingly portrays her character’s affections for Adam and frustrations at the difficulties she faces in her relationship with him. The relationship dynamic between them is extremely realistic, highlighting that a relationship with an Aspie is extremely difficult to maintain, and while it could be said that there isn’t much chemistry between them, this is really the point. Beth has genuine feelings for Adam but, due to his condition, he is unable to express such affections in return. This effectively illustrates how people with Aspergers are unable to experience love in the same fashion that others do. The tender and delightful performances of Dancy and Byrne are the heart and soul of the film, but there are also some good performances from the supporting cast, with Frankie Faison as Adam’s friend/confidante and Peter Gallagher (the focus of a subplot that doesn’t add much to the film as whole but is key in the character development of Beth) and Amy Irving playing Beth’s parents. All in all, Adam is an extremely touching film that successfully blends together both happiness and sadness to create a sweet, touching and entirely believable story of the difficulties people with Aspergers face when it comes to love and relationships. It is a truly delightful film that will leave you with a smile on your face and, quite possibly, a greater understanding of Aspergers Syndrome and those who have it.

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Don't forget that Adam is available on DVD from Monday 15th February 2010.

Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Friday, 5 February 2010

'Adam' Movie Stills


Following up my previous posts here are a selection of still images from the film Adam.
Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Thursday, 4 February 2010

'Adam' Movie Trailer

Following up my previous post, here is the trailer for Adam starring Hugh Dancy and Rose Byrne, and written and directed by Max Mayer.

Don't forget - Adam is out on DVD on Monday 15th February so make sure you get your copy and give this film the attention it deserves.

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

'Adam' Movie Posters


These are the movie posters for the film Adam starring Hugh Dancy and Rose Byrne, and written and directed by Max Mayer.

Winner of the Alfred P. Sloan Award as last year's Sundance Film Festival, Adam is a charming romantic comedy/drama about Adam, a man with Aspergers Syndrome who has lived a life sheltered from much of the outside world. Everything changes, however, when he meets Beth and the two embark on a romantic relationship, one in which they face both the joys and the difficulties that come with a relationship involving an Aspie partner.

The film paints a very realistic portrayal of a character with Aspergers Syndrome, one that I could particularly relate to (well, not the actual relationship part - I want a relationship more than anything but have never been on a date) and fully empathise with (empathy is perhaps not really the right world - being an Aspie empathy is something I am not fully capable of - but something to that effect anyway).

Both funny and moving, this is a film that is ultimately uplifting, even with an ending which some may consider to be a bit downbeat, and definitely ranks among the best movies of 2009.

Adam was released in cinemas last August, annoyingly on a very limited release but fortunately it is released on DVD on Monday 15th February, so be sure to buy it - it is a truly lovely film and you won't be disappointed.

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Saturday, 16 January 2010

New horizons for beautiful mind

New horizons for beautiful mind

Article from Yorkshire Post - October 27, 2009

By ROB PREECE

MEETING and introducing new people was never easy for Daniel Lightwing at school in Yorkshire but now he lives in a city of 17 million people and plays an unlikely role in helping Britain forge closer links with China.

In three amazing years at Cambridge University, Mr Lightwing got married, graduated in two subjects, appeared in a feature-length film and a television documentary, and was named one of the best child stars ever to appear on screen.

Now the 21-year-old's impressive CV boasts a further distinction after he became the first British student to be awarded a Chinese government scholarship to study at Beijing University.

Not bad for a young man whose problems at school were only explained after he was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, a form of autism which affects how he relates to others.

Millions of television viewers were introduced to Mr Lightwing, from York, in the film Beautiful Young Minds, which was screened on BBC2 in October 2007.

The Bafta and Emmy-nominated film followed his year-long quest to become a member of the UK maths team and his gap-year trip to China, where he met his future wife Yan.

Yan's difficulties in obtaining a visa and immigration clearance were also followed by the film-makers, and the cameras were present at the couple's wedding in York in December 2006.

Mr Lightwing's story delighted movie critics, and earlier this year film magazine The Big Picture included him in its list of most appealing child stars, along with actors from the films Slumdog Millionaire, Life is Beautiful, Pan's Labyrinth and Rabbit-Proof Fence.

Last year, Mr Lightwing was featured in a documentary for the Australian TV science programme Catalyst, which looked at the link between having Asperger and thinking with a highly mathematical mind.

He graduated from Trinity College, Cambridge, this summer after majoring in both maths and Chinese, having already applied for the Beijing scholarship.

His mother Carolyn said: "The fact that he was not only good at the Chinese but also another subject persuaded the Oriental Studies department at Cambridge to nominate him.

"He had to write a description of himself in Chinese and he had to be backed by three people from the university to write references for him."He applied for it back in February but didn't hear until August. He is delighted that his application was successful."

Mr Lightwing, who was educated at York College and St Peter's School, moved to China in June, not knowing whether he would be awarded the scholarship but keen to get on to another course if he was not successful.

The scholarship fully sponsors his tuition fees, health insurance, accommodation, living and travel expenses for seven years of postgraduate study.

He has begun studying for a masters degree in linguistics and applied linguistics, specialising in computational linguistics, and he hopes to follow this with a PhD in syntax and programming.

Mrs Lightwing, who hopes to travel to China next summer, said: "It's a lot of money and a very high-value scholarship, and I think it shows that there are efforts to promote relations between the UK and China."

Quite a few people have come from the US in the past, but we believe that Daniel is the first student from the UK to be awarded a scholarship like this."

He has always said that he finds it easier out there than he does in the UK, and apparently that is quite common in people with Asperger."

People in China understand better some of the difficulties he has, and particularly the problems he has when he meets people for the first time, because he is in a foreign country.

"I think, in this country, he finds it harder because people do not expect him to have such difficulties when he is meeting them for the first time."I think he would like to stay in academia, but he is also very interested in syntax and I think he would love to work for a company like Microsoft.

"He is interested in the interaction between computer language and human language, which is a field of study that could help other people with Asperger."

GLOBAL MATHS CHALLENGE

Daniel Lightwing was chosen to represent the UK in the International Mathematical Olympiad (IMO), a global maths competition attended by 500 students from about 100 different countries.

Beautiful Young Minds charted his progress from the first UK squad selection meeting in November 2005, through to the main contesr in Slovenia a year later.

He went on to win a silver medal in the IMO, a test with six questions so difficult that only half of the 500 competitors were able to attempt more than two answers.

©2010 Johnston Press Digital Publishing

The original article can be found here:
http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/New-horizons-for-beautiful-mind.5768620.jp

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This is a follow-up to my recent posts. Other articles I have posted about Daniel Lightwing can be found here:
http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2010/01/tv-spotlight-on-maths-whizzkid.html
http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2010/01/documentary-beautiful-young-minds.html
http://thewonderfulworldofautism.blogspot.com/2010/01/autistic-genius-finds-true-love.html

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Saturday, 9 January 2010

Documentary: 'Beautiful Young Minds'

Beautiful Young Minds Part 1 of 4



Beautiful Young Minds Part 2 of 4

Beautiful Young Minds Part 3 of 4



Watch Beautiful Young Minds [Part 3] in Educational View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

NOTE: Part 3 is included as an embedded video due to the file size being too large for upload.

Beautiful Young Minds Part 4 of 4

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Here is a BAFTA nominated British documentary by Morgan Matthews entitled Beautiful Young Minds which tells the story of several individuals gifted with impressive mathematical abilities who are trying to get accepted into the International Mathematical Olympiad. Among the individuals, most of whom have some degree of Autism, hoping to get accepted is Daniel Lightwing. This film focuses particularly on his efforts, as well as the difficulties he faces in his day to day life, and also his relationship with Zhu Yan, their marriage actually being filmed for this documentary. The film not only manages to be entertaining but also gives an honest, sincere, sensitive and heartfelt look into the lives of its subjects and is very well done in every respect.

Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Autistic Genius Finds True Love

AUTISTIC GENIUS FINDS TRUE LOVE

Article from The Sun - October 27, 2007

By SAM WOSTEAR

MATHS wizard Daniel Lightwing is one in a million – and he has the figures to prove it.

Sitting in his smart student flat in Cambridge, surrounded by books, he explains the probability of triumphing at the global Maths Olympics.

“To get a medal, the odds are one in a million,” he says, “Yet to get to represent your country in the Olympic Games the odds are only one in 100,000.”

But 20-year-old Daniel not only reached last year’s annual International Mathematical Olympiad in Slovenia, he won silver – and all despite suffering from Asperger’s Syndrome.

The condition, a type of autism, has left him struggling to form emotional bonds with others and unable to perform simple tasks – such as making a cup of tea.

Yet other aspects of his intellect are truly breathtaking, such as his mathematical ability – and becoming a fluent speaker of Mandarin Chinese in just FOUR months.

Daniel, now a student at Trinity College, Cambridge, says: “I never felt like I fitted in at school."

“The British don’t celebrate academic success like other, less developed countries, they just label you a geek. Students who are good at sport get all the praise."

“I always felt frustrated at school because I just wanted to learn more and more about maths but because I was good at it, the teachers tried to make me focus on other subjects."

"They didn't understand how I could excel in maths, yet only achieve mediocre grades in other subjects such as English."

Indeed, despite his incredible feat in learning Chinese, Daniel points out that after studying French for eight years through school he still can’t speak a word of it – because it simply doesn’t interest him.

He continues: “I was bored at school, so I started misbehaving. I certainly wasn’t a teacher’s pet. I hadn’t been diagnosed with Asperger’s so they all just presumed I was a trouble maker.”

Daniel’s mum Carolyn had noticed her son was special when at the age of two he was able to recite the alphabet forwards – and backwards.

At four he explained how he could work out how many tiles were on the kitchen ceiling without counting them but by using the equation for area.

Although they were amazed by his incredible maths ability, teacher Carolyn and her husband David, a GP, enjoyed a loving relationship with their son, and so were not immediately aware he could have Asperger's.

The characteristics of the condition mean that sufferers can experience feelings of extreme isolation.

Feeling misunderstood and rejected can lead to very low self-esteem which is usually expressed through anger.

But mild-mannered Daniel, from York, found a way to cope with these problems.

He adds: “I wasn’t bullied but I did shy away from meeting people and playing with the other children. I’m not comfortable in large groups and even as a child I realised I wasn’t the same as the others.”

Although Daniel was incapable of feeling emotion like other children he understood that others did – an ability which may well have helped his condition go undiagnosed for so long.

He says: “I realised the other children in my class would respond differently to situations so I copied them and took it into account when I was with them, but it wasn’t something that came naturally.”

Daniel was finally diagnosed with Asperger’s at 18 when a sixth-form teacher referred him to a specialist. He says it was a great relief finally to understand there was a reason he had always felt different.

It was the fact that Daniel didn’t fit in that led to his interest in China and the Chinese culture of celebrating academic success.

After changing schools more than five times, he decided to take a gap year before university and travel to China.

And in just four months he had taught himself to read, write and speak Mandarin fluently.

Somehow he also found the time to befriend a young Chinese girl, Yan, who was working as a receptionist at the hostel where he was staying.

The friendship blossomed – and six months later the couple married and now live together in Daniel’s Cambridge student digs.


Though it can be hard for Asperger's suffers to form emotional relationships Daniel says that when he saw Yan he knew he was in love.

"I know it sounds cheesy but it was love at first sight. From the moment I saw Yan I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."

"I would go down to the reception where she worked and pretend to practise my Chinese on her. But really I just wanted to talk to her.

“Yan is the only person who understands me. She has given up so much to come with me to the UK and I appreciate that. I much prefer going out for dinner with my wife than socialising with other students.”

And he adds: “I was interested in China because they are the only country out of all the International Mathematical Olympiad teams to enter where each of the six members wins a gold medal. They have a totally different attitude to learning and achievement so I thought I had a good chance of fitting in there – and I did.

“When I am out and about in England I feel like I stand out. In China I thought that if I did come across weird they’d just put it down to me being a foreigner.

“I wasn’t disappointed. I love China and would consider living there one day with Yan.”

And he adds: “Yan doesn’t judge me because she doesn’t have an understanding of Asperger’s – she just accepts me for who I am.”

© 2009 News Group Newspapers Ltd.

The original article can be found here:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article394147.ece

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Daniel Lightwing is in some ways a textbook case of Asperger's Syndrome and a person who I can very much relate to. He has some unique abilities yet has difficulty with simple things that many people take for granted, such as making a cup of tea. While I personally can make tea I too find many such simple tasks to be beyond my capabilities, while I am very capable at some things that may well elude others. At school Daniel did very well in subjects such as Maths but struggled with others like English. When I was in school I too had similar difficulties, although any mathematical ability I had has been lost with time and ironically my primary gift is now my creativity, something which is often considered a product of English. Regardless, I understand the difficulties that Daniel faced in school, particularly the way others misunderstood me. Daniel also has difficulty forming emotional bonds, another aspect I can really relate to as, since childhood, I have had great difficulty making friends and even greater difficulty maintaining friendships. I have also had great difficulty dealing with the opposite sex, wanting to meet to form a romantic relationship for a long time but my confidence constantly beaten by several failures with girls I liked, many of them based around misunderstandings on my part, one of the ways in which Aspergers has hindered my social development over the years.

Where I cannot fully relate to Daniel though is in his unique abilities. While I do have some gifts, mine certainly do not compare to his. He learned to speak Mandarin Chinese fluently in just four months. I did Welsh and French in school and while I was pretty good at both while I was doing them, nothing stuck with me, my mind seemingly unable to absorb any second (or third, fourth, and so on...) languages. I also can't even begin to comprehend the level of mathematics ability demonstrated by Daniel. He has a true intellectual gift, one that I could never even dream of having.

Daniel Lightwing is a true inspiration to me, and should be to other Aspies as well. He has unique abilities and has harnessed them to great success in his academic life. He has found true love, something that many Aspies, me in particular, aspire to but have great difficulty in finding. And, most importantly of all, he demonstrates that people with Aspergers are capable of anything, if only we put our minds to it. You can't get much more inspiring than that.

Robert Mann BA (Hons)